The story I am about to tell you relates to a promise I made to a woman who lives in St.Katherina in the Sinai in Egypt, her name is Hodra.
Meeting Hodra came about whilst visiting a new travelling friend who was living up in St. Katherina's, his name was Ali (unbelievably he has since died of cancer): Ali was Dutch, he had cycled from Holland to Egypt via Libya with his wife. Ali's wife was now working in Saudi Arabia and he lived in St. Katherina's working on a project to reinstate the 'Bedouin Bus' for locals. Ali was a lovely man, he was funny and intelligent, and adored his wife. We had met Ali in Dahab, he had invited James (my husband) and I to visit him before we left the Sinai and travelled to Cairo, and having roasted ourselves for a week on the coast we travelled up to Sheik Musa's bedouin camp (somewhat cooler at 1600 metres), and caught up with Ali for dinner. Dinner turned into coffee at his house the next morning, where from his garden I saw two ladies looking at me over a wall from their yard. I shouted 'hello' a few times and waved at them and after a few minuets, one of them, Hodra, waved her arms to indicate that I should go over.
Ali was a little put out that I would be leaving him and his coffee (he was missing his wife desperately), but to his and James' amusement I scrambled over the wall and across to the waiting Bedouin women.
When I arrived at the wall to their yard they had to pull me up the rubble, which made us all laugh. You can see their house and yard in the photo below, theirs is the one to the right of the tree, before you get to the low building with three windows.
Hodra pointed to herself and said her name, to my shame I cannot remember her sisters names, or the names of their children. Hodra could speak a little English, her sister's could not. One sister was older, plumper and very quiet, the other was younger, lively, skinny and had many rotten teeth. All three were pretty but Hodra had an enquiring intelligence that had led her to invite me over.
Hodra sat me in her yard, she made me sweet mint tea and fed me almonds, she did this as though I were a young child, one that she had to be gentle with. Her sisters smiled throughout this and talked animatedly between themselves. Hodra asked me what I was doing there and where had I come from, I told her I was English and had travelled from Britain, that myself and my husband planned to travel across Africa together. 'Why'? she wanted to know, 'because we want to see and learn, and because we can'. 'How'? she asked me. 'We will travel by car, we have a big car to collect in Alexandria and we will drive'. This amused her so much, she pointed at her abdomen and then mine, 'what of your family?' 'Ah'...'I have a daughter'....By luck I had my camera with me and on it I had some pictures of my daughter Kate, I could show Hodra my daughter and a picture of where I lived back in Wales.
She smiled and clapped her hands to her face when she saw Kate, 'hasuna' said Hodra and her sisters, I took this to mean pretty and then I showed them the picture of where I live. 'You have luck', said Hodra. 'Yes, I do, shokran', I replied.
Then Hodra rushed off and brought back with her two photos, these were of her wedding. Standing next to her husband in the first photo she wore a white dress, a headdress and lots of makeup, in the second photo she wore a vivid red dress and again lots of makeup.
'My wedding only two days', she explained looking apologetic. 'What?!!!! 'I said, holding her hand, 'you are the lucky one! Even our Queen only has one day! ' This made her smile broadly, her teeth were much better than her sister's.
Then we began to talk about our lives, 'what is your life'? asked Hodra. It was hard to explain as the freedom of choice I experience in the West are so alien to those experienced by these women, 'I have studied a lot, I work, I have my own business'. I settled on that in the end and to my surprise Hodra said ' I have studied at college, now I am married, I work, I sew', and with this she ran off and came back with about four pinnies that she had made. She worked for a lady in St. Katherina who ran a co-operative, Hodra sewed various garments and these were then sold to tourists. But the pinnies Hodra showed me she had designed herself, so she was especially proud. I picked the most extravagant looking one, 'how much is this' I asked. 'I cannot sell, I have to make for the cooperative' she replied.
Then our conversation turned to women's bodies, of falling pregnant, of problems with urinary infections and thrush and finally of the youngest sister's baby who looked like she may have cerebral palsy. One of my early careers was that of a nurse, with the knowledge this provided me and with knowledge I had accumulated over the years, I shared what I knew for timing falling pregnant with menstrual cycles, I drew diagrams in the dirt yard and demonstrated how to tilt the pelvis in order to properly empty the bladder (this really made them fall about laughing), and personal hygiene with yoghurt to treat thrush. This last really made them and me laugh. Suggesting anything for Hodra's sister's baby was more tricky, Hodra told me her sister had had a very difficult labour and birth. Certainly the mewling crying sound the baby made reminded me of some of the babies I had nursed long ago, in the end all I could suggest was that if possible Hodra's sister should see a doctor about her baby girl, and that she should love her and read to her and play with her as much as possible. Hodra told me it was difficult as her sister was pregnant again and there was little money to pay for doctors. All of these conversations were carried on in Hodra's yard, between these and being fed almonds the four of us talked like women the world over, sharing our lives in a way that removed any possible obstacles associated with country or religion.
Before I knew it James and Ali were shouting at me over the wall it was time to leave, so I turned to Hodra and her sisters and with a mixture of sadness and joy I began to say my farewells. At this point Hodra picked up the extravagant silver pinny and said, 'you are a good woman, I will sell you this for a good price', and she did too.
As I scrambled back down the wall Hodra held my hands and looking into my face she said 'Never forget me, never forget your Hodra'.....'I will not forget you, I promise'.
I have kept my promise, I remember Hodra and by telling you our story perhaps you will realise that you can reach out to other women too. Not just those that are across the world, try those who share your workspace, your neighbourhood, your seat on the train with, go on try it.
